a confession

I am lonely, there I said it. I am not afraid to admit this, more afraid of what my current state will drive me to do. desperate times call for yadda yadda yadda. I've been saying I am fed up with the dating game for about 3 years now and my patience wears thinner with each passing day. I am convinced I will die alone. I am coming to the conclusions that I am more interested in a companion, not so much a lover. I just want someone to sleep next to on cold nights, hold hands with during scary movies and compare bad days. Am I asking for too much? The little hope I had is dwindling and my biggest fears are very close to coming to fruition. I think mostly it's a phase, I go through little these spouts when I can hardly breathe because I am so afraid I will end up giving up and settling for someone I am not proud of, does this make sense? I explained it to my mom in the car the other night and I said "I wouldn't be proud to be his girl, I'd wondered if I should have waited for a better offer to come along". Harsh, I know but its how I feel and as much as I try to change that, I can't. Hopefully I won't feel this way by tomorrow or next week, it will pass-it always does.