WARNING:

This is full of negative poor me vibes. Don't keep reading if you don't want to give me all your pity.

Thanks.

I am not handling things well. Honestly? I am not handling them at all. I am having vivid and terrifying nightmares and then staying up on the phone till 1:30 trying to get my point across without it sounding like a guilt trip. I am not very good at this incase you couldn't already tell. I am selfish and needy and frustrated and a 5 minute phone call telling me about the famous people you have met or the shirts you bought doesn't help anything at all. The intentions are good but the follow through is a little lacking. I know, I know. I sound like a raging self involved bitch but I am allowed to be that right now. I am keeping most of this to myself and I am starting to feel like a turkey with all these feelings stuffed away. Everyone says I should be expressing these concerns but it just causes fights and then I look like the bad guy because I had a nightmare and wanted someone to talk to. I feel painted into a corner, no matter what I say or do someone ends up hurt, and that's a pretty shitty feeling. I've been told this gets better and I will at some point adjust but until then I am just going to go eat worms.

p.s.

thanks to everyone who has been listening to me complain about this for the past week.