Debbie Downer...(wamp wamp wamp)

I still have not uploaded the pictures from...
a.Christmas
b.New Years
c.Michaels birthday..

I am a slacker.

It is rainy today just like yesterday, it is awesome. I am a fan of rainy days, a big one. In my office we have big big windows so right now I am looking at out the district, the mountains and of course the dark clouds. Can you guess where I work? Like you don't already know? I can also see the top of a coworkers head, I don't mind though.


This post had no point, oh well. It is all hoops*.

What else can I tell you? I've been sad lately but that's not fun news. Michael went to San Diego. A movie I was disappointed in one a golden globe, another one I hadnt heard of did too but it's not playing here so I can't say whether I am disappointed or not. I am on the verge of buying a new cell phone, new plan, new everything. I colored my hair but its faded and sad and I think a little green on the ends, that's all I have to say about that.

I got nothing else and this post sucks because it is...
a.boring
b.picture-less
c.depressing?


it's still all hoops*, right?




*-inside joke between the only other person to read this and myself.

money, money, money

Michael has a show tonight and the 28th and then a metal festival in Roswell, NM in April and then another one in July in Queens, NY. Things were supposed to calm down after this month, I was counting on a little peace and quiet but they just keep getting more and more hectic for me and more and more exciting for him.

"I am a worrier, thats why my friends call me Whiskers..."





I am trying to be excited, stop worrying and focus on living life this year. Gotta stay posi, right?

Shout outz

This little dude is the best, like the Tina Turner song...




You're simply the best, better than all the rest.Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say. Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead

A birthday...

Michael is 23 today.

Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!

(i love him)

2nd post because my brain is heavy

I am listening to imogen heap and having a mini panic attack. I read through all the letters I had tucked away in clear protective sheets in my binder the other night, laughing and crying a little bit. I feel am immense sense of guilt and grief over all of this, dramatic I know. It was an idea and it was so very good on paper, so romantic.

Reality is not romantic.

Reality is full of changes and excuses and Michael Wild, reality can be beautiful but also very complicated and messy.

Love letters are not complicated. Ideas are not messy.

Ideas fit nicely into plastic protective sleeves and stay perfectly intact and ready to remind me, bring me back to a different time. Ideas don't ask me to explain, make eye contact and admit anything.

Ideas are not messy.

I know the hint was caught after a year plus of not writing, not responding but now, in just a few days there will be an actual face and body and eyes to look at, make contact with and I don't know if I am ready for all that. Am I making sense? I am overreacting and more than willing to admit that but I feel weird, anxious, panicked. We'll see that happens I guess.

No room in there for knowledge

I have lyrics running through my head tonight, and movies, all these movie quotes..

to start..

"Could we fix you if you broke? And is your punch line just a joke?" ....."I know that it's complicated but I'm a loser in love so baby raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts of all my wrecked up friends"

or...

"With the right paint, The right shades, The right frames, This could really work..."

and...

"I love that when I breathe you in you smell like cake batter. And I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense. "

this too...
"When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, truly, truly, good and kissed?"

"Oh come on. Oh, there he goes off to his room to write that hit song "Alone in my principles."


what are you thinking about?

Top 9 of 2009 (not in order)

Top 9 Highs:
9. Sawyers 1st birthday
8. Going to Oregon
7. Moving out
6. Getting my 3rd tattoo
5. All the long nights of laughing and drinking
4. Disneyland on for my birthday
3. My rings/ Michaels ring
2. Spending time with my family and friends
1. Staying with and being so madly in love with Michael



Top 9 Songs:
9. Back to Oregon- Broadway Calls
8. I Know- Dear and The Headlights
7. Convinced I'm Wrong- Polar Bear Club
6. Happiness By The Kilowatt- City and Colour
5. Manhattan- Kings of Leon
4. One Love- Justin Bieber
3. Revelations End- Sicocis
2. Bad Romance- Lady Gaga
1. Sex On Fire-Kings of Leon



Top 9 Movies:
9. Star Trek
8. Up
7. Terminator Salvation
6. Angels and Demons
5. Paranormal Activity
4. Nine
3. The Hangover
2. Julie and Julia
1. District 9


Top 9 places we ate:
9. Raising Canes
8. At Home
7. Grand Lux Cafe
6. Carluccio's
5. Yardhouse
4. Napoli's
3. Lucielles
2. Full Sail Brewery
1. Red Robin


Top 5 Lows:
5. Losing my job
4. Michael losing his job the same day I lost mine
3. Any and all drama and/or stress
2. Moving out and losing my cat
1. My dad being sick

Happy New Year