You're a mean one...

I am being a Grinch.....

Problem: The tree didnt get watered and turned into a fire hazard
Solution: Water the tree myself, don't get mad when someone else doesn't do it.

Problem:Buying Christmas presents=empty bank accounts
Solution: Buy less, buy cheaper, make gifts

Problem:Working on Christmas day
Solution:Be thankful for job and all it's many blessings.

Problem: I hate my hair
Solution: No solution exists

But Scarecrow, I think I shall miss you most of all

I have a lot of pictures to show you and things to tell you but right now I have heavy boots and I feel like complaining a little, do you mind?

Lately I have been dreaming, thinking, feeling very very nostalgic. I keep having dreams about Lovey, I know this partially because he is coming home soon but mostly because I feel guilty that I still haven't cleared the air. I have letters sitting in my binder, waiting to be put in envelopes and sent out but I just cant find the time (or guts). And I've been missing the main man again, still a little tender in that department. I handled him being away so well up until his recent visit and now I miss him more and more. I miss the brother and sister type banter and all the jokes. It is also November and S.A.D. is starting to set in if you couldn't already tell. Things are good, better than good but sometimes I miss people and I am reminded of that at random times.

But like I said, things are better than good. Me and Michael are doing very well, work is going better. Life is swell and it's almost Christmas. I need to stop complaining, right?

October

October will be here in a few days which means the following to my life....
1.I can finally finish and put out all the Halloween crafts Bug and I have been working on
2.Sawyer will be 1 (on the 15th) !!!
3.A lot will change for me and my family financially but I don't want to think about any of that right now
4.Me and Bug will celebrate our first Halloween!
5.CAT COSTUMES! (Don't worry, we already bought two!)

I can't believe a year has gone by since Sawyer came into this world. I didn't know I could love another human being as much as I love that little dude. He is the best thing to happen to our family in a very long time, he makes everything seem better.

Babies have magical powers and all that sort of thing. I don't know whether you know that, I mean do you know that? I've been watching Christine Ebersole videos, can you tell?

Go watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgOQZpMD0fE

check it out

Michael and his band will be on the independent state radio tomorrow.

listen and support.

Summer

]] I like to dance all night, summons the day but that's how I play, yeah that's how I play. I said who are you? Don't matter who you are, so we dance all night, and dance all day I say, I say. We're gonna fuel the fire, gonna stoke it up, we're gonna sip this wine, and pass the cup ,who needs avenues, who needs reservoirs? We're gonna show this town how to kiss these stars. I say,I say. We're gonna hunt the kill, gonna skin the hide, a yelp and scream, and away I ride and every drop that spills on every plot of ground it's all for you, for what you've found. I say, I say, I say, I say. It's gonna take your head and gonna drive you home. It's gonna keep on, keep on, keep on and then forever roam. [[


...sounds like that song

Christmas List

All I want this year...

1. A big REAL tree

2.To be surrounded by my family and friends

3.Hang out with this guy...4. Make dinner for Michael, Ron and Karen

5. Christmas music playing throughout our house all day

6.Lots and lots of this....

7. To host a formal dinner with Sydney

8. Make my mom laugh

9. Watch Elf and The Grinch atleast 10 times

10. Oh and this...

...a girl can dream, right?

stuck in my head

Put your eyes on me, and I know a place where we can get away to say I want you, just 'zactly like I used to 'cause baby this is only bringing me down

we have F-U-N

i like him.

It counted up our feelings and divided them up even and it called our calculation perfect love. Didn't even know that love was bigger, didn't even know. Didn't even know that love was so, so...hey hey hey hey. Hey this fire, hey this fire I'm burning us up.Hey this fire, hey this fire I'm burning us.

Bonafide

I bought Michael this ring yesterday. It made me feel good that he doesn't have a bad taste in his mouth about rings, commitment, marriage. He seemed very excited about the whole thing, kept looking at his hand on the steering wheel.

Heavy Booties

Do you remember this? That sweater? I picked it out.

I saw this and just felt sad, felt an ache in my chest.

What happened?

instead of a real update

People call us renegades 'cause we like living crazy.
We like taking on the town, some people getting lazy.

It's been a long time...

we shouldn't have left you w/o a dope beat to step to.

'Member me, It's ya old pal Weeza?

Here is my BIG BIG BIG update:

Doesn't that sparkle just burn your eyes?

I got a new tattoo but I don't have any pictures of it.

I went to Disneyland and LA but, I will show you pictures later.

I got a new J-O-B. I'll tell you about that later as well.

p.s.

Did you miss me?

Oregon

Sorosis Park

Multnomah Falls. (it's in Twilight)

The Park in Stayton

My favorite view :)

Hoodriver (he is a goob)

Cousins Breakfast

Stayton

Plague in Stayton honoring my great grandfather, great uncles and grandmother

Bridge in Stayton

Cascade Winery's

There are a lot more, just wait.

Favorite fellas

Me and Michael babysat my nephew Sawyer last Wednesday for my sister and her husband. It was a blast and we only had one meltdown.

never felt so lost and hopeless

Just do yo thang honey!

Last night as I was doing Michael's laundry, he started singing "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera. I was busy trying to match socks (that boy is particular about his socks) so I didn't catch what he was singing at first and then he started getting louder. And then, well then he started dancing. He eventually ended up mooning me on the "with ya bad ass" line and I remembered why I love him. NOT because he showed me his tush but because he is such a goob and is happy and in love. I lost sight of all that while missing him, I had completely talked myself out of one of my best relationships so far because I was being selfish and immature. Awesome that this all came from an Xtina song, right? My brother would be so proud.

So in honor of my favorite man...

Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you. Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do(what you do).You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon. You got soul, you got class.You got style with your bad ass - oh yeah! Ain't no other man its true - all right -Ain't no other man but you.

p.s.

how's that for Debbie Downer?

Oh bother...

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.

-- Winnie the Pooh

WARNING:

This is full of negative poor me vibes. Don't keep reading if you don't want to give me all your pity.

Thanks.

I am not handling things well. Honestly? I am not handling them at all. I am having vivid and terrifying nightmares and then staying up on the phone till 1:30 trying to get my point across without it sounding like a guilt trip. I am not very good at this incase you couldn't already tell. I am selfish and needy and frustrated and a 5 minute phone call telling me about the famous people you have met or the shirts you bought doesn't help anything at all. The intentions are good but the follow through is a little lacking. I know, I know. I sound like a raging self involved bitch but I am allowed to be that right now. I am keeping most of this to myself and I am starting to feel like a turkey with all these feelings stuffed away. Everyone says I should be expressing these concerns but it just causes fights and then I look like the bad guy because I had a nightmare and wanted someone to talk to. I feel painted into a corner, no matter what I say or do someone ends up hurt, and that's a pretty shitty feeling. I've been told this gets better and I will at some point adjust but until then I am just going to go eat worms.

p.s.

thanks to everyone who has been listening to me complain about this for the past week.

Randoms

I am lucky, blessed and loved. I've been having a pretty bad week but everyone around me is sending positive vibes, funny text messages and happy thoughts my way. I know I can get through anything with all these people on my side.







I started Grey Gardens last night and 5 minutes in I was completely head over heels in love with Little Edie. She was such an interesting woman and please, someone get me a dialect coach so I can talk like her all the time. Please and Thank you.

Michael is working two jobs now, I am not adjusting well but atleast I am being honest about it right? Poor thing will call me on his breaks and I usually am in tears. Did I mention I am pmsing? Blame it all on that.

I am really, really loving these ladies and their fashion mullets.

Seriously though, wish I could pull that hair off.

Someone is singing in my office, I don't know who but it's drowned out, I wonder if it's coming from the bathroom. Drop a bomb, sing a song?

May or may not be crying from that last statment.

Till midnight

Today I am feeling very

1.pathetic
2.insignificant
3.worried/anxious
4.cold
5.all around sad

ten thousand days

My parents have been married for 29 years yesterday.

wow.

They got married at the Wee Kirk O' The Heather Chapel on Las Vegas Blvd on March 26th 1980, my mom wore a red wrap skirt (I know own it) and a rainbow plaid shirt, no family members attended, just a few friends. 4 years ago my siblings and I gave my mother the wedding she had always wanted except it was so much better because all the friends and family members that had come into their lives in the past 25 years were able to attend, and of course their 3 amazing children. Me and my sister decorate the club house in her housing complex with deep red and cream, we put up sheets as a backdrop for the "alter" and used red and cream roses and red tulips for the floral displays. My dad was nervous like he was getting married for the first time, it was cute. I cannot remember the food we served, but my brother gave the best speech and my parents received some really great gifts. It was the best day and I am really glad we decided to do it.

I already called dibs on doing my sister's for her 25th anniversary.

So cute

Influence

I am so original, NOT. I am copying my "very best good friend" (name that movie) and making a list of the people who have impacted me. She was able to narrow hers down to the top 10 and semi put them in order, I however cannot do the same. Nana Faye is much more dedicated than me, obviously.

Instead of putting their names I will just put what they did. Which one are you?

Made me, raised me, cried and laughed with me.
Funniest person I know, taught me everything I know about music and how to survive high school and life
Made me, raised me, taught me about fear and strength.
Has turned into such an interesting, funny, intelligent and charismatic man. Favorite drinking buddy
My second mother, her death changed me completely. I will never be the same in bad and good ways
Opened me up to reading new books.
Introduced me to raves, shows, and blond hair and so so so much more.
Changed every ones lives for the better and for the worse. I am still mad at him but I miss his smile.
Taught me about growing up and the silly things people will do when they are "in love".
Taught me about fashion, make up and hair and about Sailor Jerry Rum and Cokes.
Was the gateway for some many good people coming into my life. Introduced me to Funny girl and Cherry Root beers
Turned my world upside down, swept me off my feet and turned me into melted ice cream.
Dyed my hair, took me on my first bus ride and first funeral. Opened up my world to local punk shows and a little bit of fearlessness
Taught me about money, cars and sacrifice and how to smoke
The funniest old man I know and taught me a lot about grieving
Gave me good boy advice and always lead by example. Still cracks me up
Made me laugh, broke my heart, taught me how to drink
Saved my life more than once
Used to be best friends. His absence in my life taught me a lot about growing up and how quickly things and people can change. Breaks my heart to this day
Taught me how to act

Things I want part deux

These will be great for summer. I'm a big fan of the gladiator sandal

Love this, with a cute little cardigan and some flats.

So cute for spring, with my new dark denim jacket and some cute heels? Or as a swim suit cover up? Can't quite decide

Perfect for Oregon, simple but still cute. I'm thinking my grey crew neck tee and faded skinny jeans with some cute sandals

Love this w/ black leggings, some flats and a messy pony tail

This would probably be cuter on my sister. She pulls off yellow a lot better than me.

Yay or nay Megan?

oh yeah and HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SPRING!!

Scandalous

Me and Michael get a lot of weird looks. I have chalked it up to his long hair, my sometimes outrageous fashion choices and of course, pure jealousy. Last weekend we celebrated St. Patty's day at Lake Las Vegas on Saturday and then a festival/carnival in old Henderson on Water Street on Sunday afternoon. We had a blast and were even able to laugh off all the dirty looks we received but I have to admit it does get annoying sometimes, especially when one couple consisted of a Stevie Nick's knock off and a giant with a purple Mohawk. REALLY?! Really purple Mohawk?!

That bag and Michael's hair made quite the stir at Monte Lago Village, but aren't we fabulous?

We endured the dirty looks and snide remarks from drunk girls wearing hot pink crew neck t-shirts tucked into mom jeans and enjoyed a lovely view of the lake from a comfy bench

and Sunday? Well Sunday we had funnel cake.

It was a GREAT weekend! And could we appear anymore in love in those pictures?
Oh Puh-lease....

My boy

"Oh boy, if you ever have to let me down in this world, my life surely would be upside down. If you ever find that your peace of mind is shattered in so many ways and I find my feet down on lonely street, I’ll be stood there waiting for you.Boy you got me. Oh yeah, let me look into your deep blue** eyes. Let me share every moment, every sweet surprise. See that I have grown and need mercy shown. There’s a window to my heart. If I find my feet down on lonely street,I’ll be stood there waiting for you,Boy, you’ve got me high. Boy, you’ve got me high. Boy, you’ve got me high Boy, you’ve got me high. But if I find my feet down on lonely street, I’ll be stood there waiting for you. Boy you’ve got me."

-Oh Boy, Duffy








**orginal lyrics say "Brown eyes"

our perfect night

dinner
movie

puzzle

we are total geeks

Don't ever change the way you are...I've never loved anyone more

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool." -- Theodore I. Rubin, MD


stolen from here

To Do List for Summer 2009

1.Lose 20 pounds
2.Do NOT cut my hair
3.BBQ with my friends
4.Hike (A LOT)
5.Go to Disneyland atleast once



















6.Turn 22
7.Stay out all night and then go out for breakfast
8.Go Camping
9.Love Michael
10.BBQ with my family
11.Spend saturdays shopping with my sister
12.Try new food















13.Get tattooed
14.Visit Zach
15.Watch atleast 1 old movie I have never seen


























16.Find a sense of style
17.Get mani/pedis with the ladies
18.Go to church every Sunday
19. Go out of town with Michael
20.ROADTRIP
21.Do one thing that scares me















22.Stay in a hotel on the strip
23.Save money
24.Drink more water and slurpees
25.Buy (vintage) furniture
26.Get a tan















27.Change the lenses on my vintage sunglasses
28.Send Bridget lots of pictures
29.Go to baseball games with my ladies
30.Wear false eyelashes
31.Take lots of pictures
32.Write a play
33.Drink slurpees
















34.Volunteer
35.Play with Sawyer (A LOT)
36.Overcome one of my issues
37.Laugh
39.Take a yoga class






















40.Learn more at work
41.Do 20 real push-ups
42.Whiten my teeth
43.Kiss Michael (A LOT)













44.Re-do my room
45.Swim
46.Slow dance
47.Write a song
48.Learn atleast 20 words of another language
49.Channel Bridget Bardot















50.Visit my grandparents